The 3 Wise Things to keep you calm/sane this Christmas season

Lately on social media I've been seeing so much stress, commotion, and fear. It's hard not to get caught up with all of the crazy things going on in the world, especially when our lives provide us with enough stress to begin with. I love the Christmas season because something happens that just makes me more observant and reflective about what is going on and I'm able to look back on the past year of my life from a different perspective. However, Christmas time can also become a very stressful time if we let it. Things like finals, travel plans, Christmas shopping, and making plans to reconnect with old friends and extended family definitely put stress on some people. So I figured I would list the top three things that I have found make me feel tranquil and content during all of the end of the year chaos.

1. Listening to/making music. I have no idea how people get tired of Christmas music. I do a lot of driving for work, but I never even bother to plug in my own music. I always search the radio for the Christmas hits. A few nights ago, a slower, more spiritual song came on as I was driving home from work late at night. I was so surprised because all of a sudden I just started crying. It was one of those peaceful cries though; I felt really happy and touched. No matter how lame you feel at first, making music is so much fun. Whether you actually try to sound good and in synch with the rest of your family, or are making fun of your little brother's excessively loud singing, you're bound to feel content while caroling. Every year, I play the piano while my family sings Christmas songs and it's one of my favorite traditions. I used to play harp when I was younger and just recently pulled out all of my old stuff and am starting to practice playing Christmas songs. What Chid is This? (also known as Greensleeves) is my favorite song of them all. Christmas music is definitely my #1 go-to to calm me down and make me happy during the holidays.

2. Even while my mom is in school, she has always made time for this little tradition in our home. She makes cinnamon tea everyday, "canela" (cinnamon in spanish) as we call it, and every time I get home I can expect the aroma. Any friend who has come over to my house has probably been offered it about 5 times until they finally budged and said yes. It's so good. Just sitting down, chatting, and sipping on my favorite tea calms me down and helps me unwind after my day. Even my dog likes it!

It's super easy to make too, just go to the store and buy those really big cinnamon sticks. All you have to do is stick one in a pot of water and let it boil until the tea is a deep red color. Then just add sugar (I add one tbsp.) and milk (I like mine without) to taste.

3. Spending time with my pup! Lately I've been giving lots of attention to my dog Nala, and I think it benefits me more than anything. Dogs have a way of making you feel like the most special person in the world, even if all you did was take them to get groomed or play fetch with them for a couple of minutes. My family has always been big on keeping dogs outside (especially because Nala swims so much), but we can't help but budge and let Nala hang out with us. Even though she's crazy and has so much energy, she has such a calming presence that makes us all so happy.

Sunday Glam Session

So I've been sick for the past week, and my boyfriend is in town, so we've been forced to stay in. While we were cooped up I remembered that for the longest time I wanted to make a video of Josh attempting to do my make up; mostly because he's seen/been with me so many times while I've gotten ready. I was curious to see what he could remember. Down below is a fun little video, but I must say my little brother Sam steals the show! (Make sure to scroll up and hit pause on my blog song before you watch!)

1.0

I've been waiting a really long time to write a personal blog post like this, mostly because I wanted to wait until I was completely comfortable with sharing some of my stories.  I am going to make several posts instead of one monstrous one, mostly because there are a lot of pieces to the story and I don't want to throw it all out into the open at once.  Since January of 2015 I have been living at home while working three jobs, and taking some classes here and there.  I live in North County San Diego, California and I work as a soccer coach and retail sales associate.  Before making this decision to stay home, I attended BYU Hawaii for a year and a half.  Some people reply to this information with a concerned sigh and respond, "Oh well, I guess working is fine for the time being" or something of the sort; as to say that I made the wrong decision to take a break from being a full-time student away from home.  Part of me would get really peeved by this and wished that I could blurt out everything that has gone on to lead me here, but I know that anyone who is that quick to judge my decisions is someone I shouldn't pay much mind to.  So I'll be talking about one specific time that has impacted me a lot.

Going all the way back to high school, I felt like I was in my element and was extremely social.  I hung out with friends, played sports, and school was fairly easy for me.  I did very well and things seemed to go my way.  Then came junior year.  I do not believe that there was one main cause for my initial signs of anxiety, but I noticed it when I began to lose my appetite.  I spent every day playing sports, so for me to not want food was absurd.  I was confused when my self-esteem plunged; but I was able to talk myself through most of my negative thoughts and was able to remain happy most of the time. Without the stability of my family and peers, those times would have been a lot harder.

As a result of my anxiety and stress, I became very extreme with my exercise and eating habits.  I would work out a ton on my own outside of the sports I already participated in, and would only eat snacks or small meals here and there.  It was easy to get away with because I spent half of the day with my peers, and half with my family. When I decided to open up to some friends about it, I was caught off guard because only a couple of them actually believed me and were proactive to assist or talk about the situation.  I am not and was not at all upset with any of my other friends.  I have been in situations where I have not known what to believe about a friend or how I could possibly help them. At the same time, this made me glad because I didn't want to be a charity case to my friends and wanted things to remain as normal as possible.

Finding peace through my religion, remaining positive and motivated, and with things working out with school and sports, I was able to get better and feel happy again.  Now when I'm having a tough time, I think back to this period of time and remember how important it was to keep a positive mindset, as cliche as it might sound.  I don't necessarily mean "positive" in the same context that someone else might.  It can be so difficult to tell yourself that the struggles you are going through are only temporary and that everything will be totally fine.  So instead of going that route, I fed myself positivity by saying things like, "You're strong, you're good enough, you're loved".  One thing I noticed when I told my friends about my eating habits is that they would reply, "But you look great!" or, "You don't even need to worry about how you look".  These habits didn't result from me hating my body, they resulted from my anxiety.  Although I did have those feelings about myself sometimes, that was not that main cause of my problems.  It is so important that we are very very careful when we have friends going through these same problems.  Something like this messes with your mind, and as a result your logic doesn't quite match up to other people looking in.  At that time, I didn't need to hear people say that they approved of me, I needed to hear it from myself and believe it.  In hindsight, this experience was beneficial to my emotional health; I know how to talk myself out of bad thoughts and how to release anxiety in a healthy way.

Alright, I'm cutting it off right here! More to come.

What's up?!

Okay, to be quite honest, I completely forgot I had this blog. I was was binge-watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix when I realized, "oh hey, I have that blog thing." So I checked it out and decided it needed a make over and a new post asap.
Quick update: I am back in San Diego, taking a class, working a few jobs (2 jobs coaching soccer and a retail job) and am spending lots of time with family (and a boy maybe). It's been going so well that I've forgot to fill you guys in!
I am feeling a little bit of pressure regarding the topic I should write about since it has been so long! So, I'm actually just going to post pictures of new places I have been the past few months with a little bit of a description.

I love this picture because of the trees. Eucalyptus trees always remind me of home; and why we can never get fruit on our trees but it's ok. This suspension bridge is located in such a beautiful secluded area in San Diego.

This actually is a very familiar view; it's the view from the deck at my house. I've looked at this view tons of times, but something I've never done is yoga. I've been trying it out and my deck is my go-to spot because of this beautiful view. I can't think of a better place to try to bend my body like a pretzel.

For my birthday I took a trip to the Bay Area where my boyfriend lives and he took me to an FC Barcelona game. They are my favorite team and the crowd was so lively. Soccer is a huge part of my life and not many things beat watching some of your favorite sports heroes play.
















I'm going to try to start posting more. I just ask one favor; PLEASE comment or message me with questions or something you would like me to blog about (I love hearing your feedback).

Hard to find, Lucky to have

A couple of my good friends are having birthdays, and I started thinking about friendship and how lucky I am to have amazing friends both back home, and here in Hawaii. Friendships can be really tricky sometimes so I'm going to talk about some things I've learned are essential to a healthy friendship, and random things I think can help a friendship progress smoothly. 

• One of the most important things I've learned is that in order to have a friend, you need to be a friend. If you go into a friendship only wanting to gain rather than giving, it can lead to a lot of problems. It's important to focus on giving and being a good friend, and if the other party has good intentions, then they will reciprocate that. I'm sure we've all been on the other end  of things; we've all probably encountered people who only take from us and it makes us feel really hurt and annoyed. If you have friends that only take from you, you should really evaluate that friendship and make sure their intentions are genuine. You can learn so much by putting yourself in someone else's boat or remembering how you felt during a time where you might have been in their same position. 

• Being a listener and a critic: Knowing when to be a listener and when to be a critic can be very difficult. Have you ever had a friend who rambles on giving you advice or always chiming in when what you really want them to do it just listen? It can be a really bad feeling because sometimes we just need someone to sit there and listen. However, just sitting there and saying, "yep", "uh-huh", or my absolute least favorite, "that sucks." Try to be an active listener by maintaining eye contact, through facial expressions, and occasionally asking questions. It might sound weird, but by being an active listener, the other person will really know you care. When a friend is asking for your advice or opinion, then you can chime in and give your two cents. When you do, make sure you're really being honest. Don't sugar coat things, but make sure you are still being kind and considerate. 

• Trust: Definitely the most important things in any relationship. Being trustworthy is one of the best traits a person can have. Friends should have a mutual trust and should be there to believe in and support each other. There are so many ways to develop trust: being kind, being nonjudgmental, and sharing with your friends. By sharing with them and showing that you trust in them, friends are more likely to trust you in return. 

Confession time.

Do little mishaps happen in your life and as they add up you just slowly feel like you're going to lose it? I think this happens even to the best of us, and it is not fun at all. We are all a little guilty of getting way too angry or irritated by such small things, and after a little reflection on the topic of patience I'm just going to take a moments and say, Mom, Dad, you were right! I most definitely need an attitude adjustment. And actually, I think a lot of us do. I'm not posting about this because I think everyone is sad, horrible, and cruel, I'm posting about it because I genuinely believe that making even the smallest changes in your mindset can really help you have a more cheerful countenance. One little inconvenience happened last night and it had to do with my car. One of my pet peeves is definitely car trouble. In high school I drove an older car and I drive an older car now as well, and it can be very frustrating when it randomly dies on you and decides to stop working. Anyhow, after this happened (and I was with some friends at the time), I kept saying how annoyed I was, how frustrated I was, and was just kind of being a brat. I'm not sure if my friends even cared or were bothered at all, but after trying to sleep and laying in my bed for a while, I just couldn't shake this ugly feeling. The word patience just kept entering my mind, so I decided to read about it in my scriptures (the Bible, specifically) and to just learn a little more about it in general. I looked up the definition and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but the synonyms I found really helped me reflect more on where I was at fault. So enjoy my rant I'm just going to spill the beans real quick. Something I've noticed from people's behavior, especially on social media, is that we like to act super tough. We sometimes express our anger a lot more than we should, and I can't give you a reason so I'm sorry about that. I don't know if we feel more bold or courageous expressing our anger and the things that push our buttons, but I've found that doing so actually creates the opposite effect. One of the synonyms of patience is self-posession which I think is so important. A lot of times we try to blame other people or make up reasons why something happened to justify our angry behavior, but by doing so we actually completely lose control over ourselves. Life pushes our buttons but we don't always have to react! I remember in my psychology class we learned about pain, and how we can train our minds to be able to ignore a certain amount of pain. I took this lesson to heart, and whenever I would stub my toe or scrape myself I would just say in my mind, "I'm fine, that didn't hurt, mind over matter." Just over and over. Surprisingly it actually did work most of the time! What I'm trying to get at is that, with practice, we can also train ourselves not to react in anger to certain situations, just how we can train our minds not to react to certain amounts of pain. It can be a really long process to acquire patience, but it will be time invested to save us a whole lot of regret that comes from acting out of anger. I saw this really awesome story on Pinterest (a.k.a. the greatest website in the world) and it says: 

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth. " The boy thought about it and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

I hope you enjoyed this late night rant. I challenge you guys to try to make tiny little adjustments because they'll eventually lead to big accomplishments! Good luck. Also, thanks so much for all of your feedback. Whether you agree, disagree, want to provide criticism, or have a question for me, PLEASE comment or contact me because I love hearing your thoughts. 'Til next time. 

Do your thing

Today's topic is to list some of my regrets and give my thoughts on them. To be honest this topic seems pretty depressing so I'm twisting it just a little bit. I personally think that living a life with regret is the first way to be unhappy with yourself. Guilt and regret are things that hold you down and keep you from improving, and if anything, those things I've regretted doing have fueled me to become a better person and have taught me the most valuable lessons. As of right now I don't have any huge regrets in my life, but I have learned so many things from my past mistakes so I'm just gonna talk about a few of those life lessons. This might seem super cliché, but I hope this post might help or apply to some of you.

1. Do not force things! If it is meant to be, it will happen. 

This lesson has been drilled into my brain since day one; my dad has always told me these exact words. I definitely have forgotten to live by them sometimes, and those were times where I was the most stressed and unhappy. Whether it had to do with a boy I liked, trying to find a job, or having problems with a friend, reciting these words in my head have always brought me so much comfort and ease. I choose to put my trust in a higher power, which really helps me believe that in the end everything will be okay as long as I am working hard and giving my best effort in everything I do. So props to my dad for teaching me my #1 rule in the game of life. And since I'm such a daddy's girl, here's a picture of us:

2. Don't let other people control your mind and feelings.

I had always heard this and just kind of brushed it off. We might all feel a little guilty of blaming others for how we feel or behave, I know I used to have a tendency to think that people were against me and there was no way to control what I was feeling. Just this past semester I took a religion class and my professor was absolutely amazing. He always stressed the idea that it is so important to have control over your own life despite the way you are treated. It is so easy to let someone anger you, and it is so easy to just treat them how they treat you. He would always say, "Act, do not be acted upon." To me this means that no matter how someone treats you, if you are kind and loving toward that person; only you have control. Reacting out of anger gives someone else control and makes it harder and harder to live your life according to your conditions.

3. The more you give the more you get.

Super cliché right?! But really, it is so true! Karma, you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around, whatever helps you understand it better. I have noticed that the better I treat someone or the harder I work, the more I acknowledge when someone treats me well or is working hard. Being the best version of yourself and giving back has always helped me appreciate when people do the same for me. You never know how much happiness you can bring someone just by striking up a random conversation, asking someone about their day or helping with your groceries. (So cheesy I know, forgive me!)

4. You don't always need to explain yourself!

Being a young person in college, even though I go to a religious school, there are always people being critical and trying to influence me to do things I don't want to. It doesn't even have to be anything major, but it is important to feel comfortable with who you are the decisions you make. You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to do what makes you happy. If you don't want to do something for the sake of just not wanting to, if someone needs you to justify yourself, odds are they don't even deserve your explanation.