Hard to find, Lucky to have

A couple of my good friends are having birthdays, and I started thinking about friendship and how lucky I am to have amazing friends both back home, and here in Hawaii. Friendships can be really tricky sometimes so I'm going to talk about some things I've learned are essential to a healthy friendship, and random things I think can help a friendship progress smoothly. 

• One of the most important things I've learned is that in order to have a friend, you need to be a friend. If you go into a friendship only wanting to gain rather than giving, it can lead to a lot of problems. It's important to focus on giving and being a good friend, and if the other party has good intentions, then they will reciprocate that. I'm sure we've all been on the other end  of things; we've all probably encountered people who only take from us and it makes us feel really hurt and annoyed. If you have friends that only take from you, you should really evaluate that friendship and make sure their intentions are genuine. You can learn so much by putting yourself in someone else's boat or remembering how you felt during a time where you might have been in their same position. 

• Being a listener and a critic: Knowing when to be a listener and when to be a critic can be very difficult. Have you ever had a friend who rambles on giving you advice or always chiming in when what you really want them to do it just listen? It can be a really bad feeling because sometimes we just need someone to sit there and listen. However, just sitting there and saying, "yep", "uh-huh", or my absolute least favorite, "that sucks." Try to be an active listener by maintaining eye contact, through facial expressions, and occasionally asking questions. It might sound weird, but by being an active listener, the other person will really know you care. When a friend is asking for your advice or opinion, then you can chime in and give your two cents. When you do, make sure you're really being honest. Don't sugar coat things, but make sure you are still being kind and considerate. 

• Trust: Definitely the most important things in any relationship. Being trustworthy is one of the best traits a person can have. Friends should have a mutual trust and should be there to believe in and support each other. There are so many ways to develop trust: being kind, being nonjudgmental, and sharing with your friends. By sharing with them and showing that you trust in them, friends are more likely to trust you in return.